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[madehervows]

You've reached Regina Mills, please leave a message after the tone.

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[wickedwest]

[Oh hi Regina, Zelena's actually the calm one at the moment. Or mostly calm. She's still sort of mulling over the what the hell that just happened, so there's that.]

Oh relax. He's fine. Shouldn't be, but he is.

[Look, don't get angry with her, she never professed to be a good person like the rest of you. She doesn't want to be. So things like this, well, they're going to happen.]

Don't suppose you knew that would happen, did you?

[madehervows]

[????????????????????????????????????????]

I suppose it's too much to ask that you stabbed him in the leg, isn't it.

[Regina sighs, calming down somewhat because how is he fine what the hell did you do to fail stabbing the pirate that badly.]

What do you mean he's 'fine?'

[wickedwest]

Higher actually. And he's fine as in it didn't do anything. At all.

[Which is so unfair. What is the point of talk shit get hit, if they don't actually take the hit properly.]

I don't think the beloved Savior is the only future darkness running around.

[madehervows]

[.............]

I'm sorry, what? You think the One Handed Wonder is the new Dark One?

[wickedwest]

Can't say for certain, but I can't think of any other reason he'd laugh off being stabbed in the heart and then let me go.

[Excuse her while she grumbles about the entire thing.]

So either she put some sort of enchantment on him, or he's the next one.

[madehervows]

[Let's... ignore the part where Zelena stabbed Hook in the heart. Because that's relatively tame compared to the part where Hook might be a fucking Dark One.]

Well she had no problem turning that damn dwarf into a garden ornament.

[Sneezy is better off that way tbh.]

But you, the newly immortal sound of one hand clapping and I all remember the same thing -- Emma threatening us. Immortality comes with a terrible price, one I'm not sure even the Dark One would pay for anybody else, and she's still, quite clearly, the Dark One.

[wickedwest]

Then what is it?

[She looks like she's about a second or two away from yelling, but there's nothing to really yell at. Well, Regina, obviously, but it's not going to get her anywhere. Which isn't a reason to not do it, but it's just not the time. God, maybe she really is getting soft. She can't have that.]

I can't imagine you particularly care what state he's in either way, but I have to imagine neither of us wants a deranged immortal pirate running around the place. Say what you want about Gold, but at least he could be kept on a leash.

[madehervows]

I don't know.

[Well now Regina's yelling because thanks for getting her involved in your problem and then demanding the answers.]

What did he do after you stabbed him?

[wickedwest]

Laughed it off.

[She didn't stick around after that. Panic set in and she bailed. Under different circumstances, she would've hung around to see what stuck, but there's Pistachio to think of now.]

Threatened me too, not that I particularly care about that.

[She's mostly angry about the laughing. It takes some nerve to laugh off her murder attempt. Or at least she thinks it should.]

[madehervows]

Everybody threatens you. It comes with the territory.

[Because you're really god damn annoying. But it's not like she hasn't been there.]

I don't think I need to tell you to stay out of his way. Until we figure out what's going on, that's all any of us can do.

[wickedwest]

You don't get to tell me what to do.

[And after the most obvious childish outburst...]

Still, suppose it's better to lay low for now. At least until I've figured out what to do about this.

[She's not...ruling out trying to stab him in the face, but she'll at least try and think things through. That's something, right?]

[madehervows]

Good luck with that.

[Regina outtie.]